Losing a close friend or relative is one of the hardest experiences we can face. In the immediate aftermath, there is often a mix of emotions, ranging from shock to overwhelming sadness. Taking steps to process and heal can help you get through the pain of losing them, even though grief is different for everyone and takes its own time. Here are some thoughtful actions you can consider to help navigate the early days of grief:
Give Yourself Time to Grieve
Grief is a very personal journey. Take your time to process what has happened, and remember that there’s no ‘right’ way or timeline for grieving. Emotions may come in waves, and that’s normal. Allowing yourself to experience these emotions, rather than suppressing them, can be beneficial in the long term.
Give Yourself Permission to Heal
Grief is ongoing, and it changes over time. There will be days that feel extremely heavy and days when the weight lessens a bit. Be gentle with yourself, and give yourself permission to move forward in whatever way feels right for you.
Allow for Moments of Joy Without Guilt
It’s normal to feel moments of happiness, even in the midst of grieving. These moments don’t mean you’ve “moved on” or forgotten your loved one. Allowing yourself to laugh or find joy can be part of healing, and it’s okay to embrace these moments without guilt.
Keep a Grief Journal
Writing down your feelings in a grief journal can provide a powerful outlet for processing your emotions. It’s a place where you can express everything you feel without fear of judgement. Many people find comfort in writing letters to their loved ones, recording memories, or simply using the journal as a space to unload daily thoughts and feelings.
Reach Out for Support
Leaning on friends, family, or a support group can be very comforting. Talking to people who care about you can help you feel less alone, and shared memories or moments of reflection can bring a sense of connection to the loved one you’ve lost. Community support, whether through formal grief groups or informal gatherings, often provides a safe space to express your feelings and hear others’ stories.
Honour Their Memory
Finding ways to remember and honour your loved one can bring comfort and a sense of closeness. This could be as simple as lighting a candle, creating a photo album, or planting a tree in their memory. Some people find peace in writing a letter to their loved one, or setting aside a special day each year to celebrate their life.
Seek Out Rituals and Traditions
Around the world, many cultures have traditions that bring people together to mourn and remember loved ones. Consider incorporating rituals or creating your own traditions that feel meaningful and allow you to remember and honour your loved one.
Plan for Special Anniversaries and Holidays
Birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays can be especially tough when you’ve lost someone close. Planning ahead for these days can help reduce anxiety and provide a sense of comfort. Whether that means spending these days with others or allowing yourself a day of quiet reflection is up to you.
Consider Professional Help
If the loss feels overwhelming, seeking professional support from a therapist or grief counsellor can be beneficial. They can provide guidance, coping tools, and a space to share feelings that may be difficult to express elsewhere. This is especially important if grief begins to interfere with daily life or if feelings of depression, anxiety, or guilt become intense.
Take Care of Your Physical Health
Grief can take a toll on your body as well as your mind. Remember to rest, eat, and stay hydrated, even if it feels difficult at times. Gentle activities like walking or yoga can help manage stress. Grieving is hard work emotionally, and your body needs the right support to help carry you through it.
Losing a loved one changes us. Grieving is a part of adapting to that change. While the journey is challenging, taking steps to honour your loved one and to care for yourself along the way can be a valuable part of the healing process. Remember, there is no right way to grieve. Allow yourself to find comfort, support, and hope in small ways as you navigate this difficult path.